Climbing in Skirts

I write you at 10:45pm on a Friday night to discuss something that's been bugging me for most of the day. Last night I guy that is a mere aquaintance made a point to stress his shock and awe at the fact that I am a strong woman who is smart but has this domestic thing going on.

So I am some sort of mutant for being a supergeek with my shit together and enjoys the domestic arts? There is just as much science to cooking and sewing as there is to my day job. I definitely experience more applied science at home vs.. at work where I am dealing with conceptual stuff.

Besides, isn't Martha Stewart this type of woman. She just happened to capitalize on domestic arts. I too will make that $$ one day. There are a lot more of us out there than you think

Where did I get all of this domestic stuff from? My mom, Girl Scouts, and necessity. My mom taught me the art of making something out of nothing. This is why I was able to make a batch of cookies, a dozen muffins, and pastry dough (I am making portobella brie cups tomorrow) in addition to perming my hair and painting my recently restored kitchen cabinets all in an afternoon.

...and now for my theme song
I can wash out forty-four pairs of socks
And have them hangin out on the line
I can starch and iron two dozen shirts
Before you can count from one to nine
I can scoop up a great big dipper
Full of lard from the drippin's can
Throw it in the skillet, go out and do my
Shopping and be back before it melts in the pan
'Cause I'm a woman
W O M A N
I'll say it again

I can rub and scrub till this old house
Is shinin like a dime
Feed the baby, grease the car and
Powder my face at the same time
Get all dressed up, go out and swing
Till four a.m. and then
Lay down at five, jump up at six
And start all over again
'Cause I'm a woman
W O M A N
I'll say it again

If you come to me sickly, you know
I'm gonna make you well
If you come to me hexed up,
You know I'm gonna break the spell
If you come to me hungry,
You know I'm gonna fill you full o' grits
If it's lovin' you're lackin', I'll kiss you
And give you the shiverin' fits
'Cause I'm a woman
W O M A N
I'll say it again

I can stretch a greenback dollar bill
From here to kingdom come
I can play the numbers, pay my bills
And still end up with some
I got a twenty dollar gold piece says
There ain't nothin I can't do
I can make a dress out of a feed bag
And I can make a man out of you
'Cause I'm a woman
I'll say it again

'Cause I'm a woman
And that's all

alternate title (boys can be useful)

In a recent discussion with some chick friends of mine, the subject shifted to our battery operated friends and how we had come to cope with lack of man friend via the purchase of battery chargers (we are ecofriendly). Anyways, I started complaining about the fact that while a vibrator can do many amazing things, human contact is a necessity (why else would boys exist). Meg chimes in to say, you can't share cds with your vibrator.

So, true.

Your vibrator can't take you out to dinner either, or talk to you, or get off on the fact that you are moaning and screaming their name (no, I did not name my vibes, but I know people who do), or pet you after you come. (just a note to all of you guys out there that feel like the battery operated one is the ENEMY)

Recently a guy friend of mine asked if he could check out what exactly is in my toy box. I showed him the recent additions to my stash. He was amused at the fact that it took not one but 2 new vibrators to get over my last man. (I admitted that I really needed just one but I stumbled on the better one ($12.99) after investing in the ($30.00). I had originally bought the cheap one in order to get more bullet attachments for the expensive one.)

Then he noted what the back of the "Erotic Pulsator Egg (with technobeat virtual rush)" said...
Functions
1. Vibrate
2. Pulsate
3. Long Surge
4. Climbing Spurts
5. Pyramid Shooter

Yes, that says Pyramid Shooter. This was cause for more questioning from my guy friend. I turned it on to let him find out for himself.










I started to write this little piece today and realized that I should add some pictures of my new friends and discovered that I have something that tops the earlier discovery.

The X-Commander (the $12.99 bundle of joy) had this on the back of the box...
As a scientist I have to go with the charts and graphs vs. wordsmithing (gotta love the fact that it says, "5 Ultimate Functions").
#4 would be my favorite. Meg has a similar setting on the "sea lion." We refer to it as "disco mode". This sounds way better than "escalate/pulsate".

It also claims to have "artificial intelligence" (whatever that is).










In closing I have to say that size was not part of my decision in selecting my favorite of the 2 new vibrators. The X-Commander is smaller, runs on 3 AAA batteries (vs. the 3 AAs that the other runs on). The only thing that I might ask for is some sort of rubberized grip, or maybe if they played music (Someone out there please come up with a way to attach a bullet to the ipod. Name it the ivibe. You will make money, I promise. Just add an additional jack for the bullets and make it run off the bass or something).

I draged my 2-d, cat-proof, Christmas tree out of the closet last night and decided that I needed to add a little more bling. This years main decoration...

AOL coasters (and a few crappy free cds).


I actually save them vs. tossing them and letting them go out to the landfill. I figured that one day I could make them into something . I saw some pretty cool Halloween costumes that you can make with old cds.

I need to add a little more color but I think that I have enough bling.