Paradigm Shift

I have just become involved with the most wonderful guy. I had stopped looking completely, and he popped up. Just like they say, when you stop looking, that's when you will find someone... I knew it but I didn't think it would happen so fast. I had just closed my Match.com account that week and had mentally "given up" on meeting anyone. I was done. Period.

Then he pops up on MySpace. We go have a beer. It was good to see him. Really good. Next thing I know we are dating. Exclusively. Yes, the E-Word. We even had the talk.

He's got very little of what I thought would be important in a relationship. He doesn't read like my description of who I'd like to meet on MySpace or Match.com. Most of my criteria don't fit him…but since my breakup of my marriage where we seemed to be the "Perfect Couple" I have had a paradigm shift.

He has a different background than me, totally different beliefs, and he's not even American. He even has facial hair, which I dislike immensely.. ick! : ) But I have found I don't care. I think he's the best thing since sliced bread.

I have realized the things I thought were important still are, but not necessary. What works is two adult people who care about each other enough to work on the differences between then, and even celebrate them. He might not be Mr. Right, but he's definitely taught me a few things about what I want and should even expect in a relationship. He is truly a breath of fresh air...

He respects me and supports me in everything I do. He listens to my problems, and seems indignant at injustices against me. We have fun together doing the most mundane things. He cooks for me, and enjoys doing so. He is affectionate, and not shy about showing it. He simply enjoys being with me. He shares his favorite things and his friends with me, and is not afraid or hesitant to do so.

He satisfies me in the bedroom, my pleasure is his priority, not an afterthought. He says he wants an “Adult” relationship. There's no drama, no games, no dishonesty or insecurity. Just hanging out and being content. Contentedness is something I have never had, at least not since I have been an adult in a relationship. And definitely my disastrous marriage was the total opposite of content.

I am in awe of this man and our relationship. Every day I pinch myself. I have known him a long time, we had a chance to be together in the past, but it wasn't to be right then. But now he's back. Obviously he's had a paradigm shift or two himself in the last several years. When he was ready, he came back.

So who knows what will happen, but I believe every person is put in your path to teach you something. If all I go away with is the knowledge that I deserve this kind of relationship with someone, and that I need to worry only about what's really important, then I have learned a lot.