Climbing in Skirts

That's right. I Myspace stalked you. Sure I could just play it off as 'just checking out your page' but I want you to know I know.
I decided to do a little background check on you. You with your full lips and twinkling eyes. I thought, "Surely this temptress has a girlfriend...I mean, really, look at that ass!" And I was right.
Funny, your profile says SINGLE but there she is smiling at me from her number four spot in your "Top 8".
I KNOW she was not there LAST WEEK.
Then all of sudden, number four. And Glitter Kittens are showing up in your comment section mewling over sparkly yarn that spells out "I miss you". She's writing silly inside jokes about what you two did last weekend. OH and she's got her profile set to straight and you, yes you mister are her number one of eight AND the only boy...so her little "In a Relationship" seems to point to you.

Very smart making her number four and not number one. A spot so prominent would cause idle chatter. And of course your best friend is in the number one spot. I checked him out too, so nice to see that he wishes you and your new GIRLFRIEND well. So SINGLE? I don't think so, I think I'll trust your best friend's comment on this one. Your best friend of 9 years whom you met at a party in college, who still parties like a sophomore, who's favorite movie is Die Hard. You know Die Hard, right? Good, cause that's what the sparks that were to burn into the splendid flame of our love are going to do.
Did you think I wouldn't see her? Did you think that the fact that she is next to you in one of her pictures AND a completely different one of your pictures would go unnoticed?

Listen, do me a favor spanky, don't flirt with me if you are not going to follow through. I am not about all talk and no action. All talk sucks like your myspace page.

For the most part I manage anger through avoidance. For example, stupid people piss me off. I avoid stupid people. Pretty simple. Granted, this is not the best way to solve the problem. I have read "The Art of Happiness" many times and I am well aware of the fact that being open minded and understanding is key to achieving happiness.

So, why tell you about this? One of my favorite bloggers left this note on her blog today...

"Note: Do not use the comments box to give advice or diagnoses regarding my father. Just don't. Because I promise I will crawl through the internet and cut you."

...I was reminded that I didn't tell you about my latest and greatest achievement at work.

Work pisses me off. The frustration with working for "the man" caused me to explode during a meeting (just a team meeting not anything with the execs). My co-workers refer to it as project manager Tourett's. I just kicked up a notch. To the point that one of my smart ass co-workers decided to say, "Watch your tone missy." She was trying to bring life to the room that I just sucked the life out of with my explosion.

My boss came to me to say that she was concerned about my "tone" during the meeting. We talked for a bit. I don't like her tone. She has one of those "mom-I-want-everything-to-be-ok" voices. Kind of timid and weak sounding. Annoys the hell out of me.

I got a high five from a co-worker that gets the "I am concerned about your tone" talk on a daily basis. I am now one of the cool kids.

In other news: We did a sweep of sharp objects in the offices of "at risk" project managers. Well the project managers weren't at risk. The stupid people were the ones at risk.