Climbing in Skirts

I prefer to do lists over resolutions.

To Do (in no particular order):

1. Use my passport. I have had my passport for many years and I have yet to use it. I will leave the country this year. Even if I have to sell plasma weekly to afford it. I am leaning towards New Zealand. It's pretty expensive but the weather rocks year round.
   
2. Continue to work on my goal of tollerance.
3. Paint my pantry and put up new shelves.
4. Teach more sewing classes.
5. Interact with real people (not on the internet) atleast twice a week (this is for my "parole officers" Em and Megan).
6. Read more books (or atleast finish up that pile I purchased in 2006).
7. Sell that $300 pair of jeans.
   
8. Officially start a small business. DBA Spinsta needs to happen this year.
9. Expose myself to the best things humans have done and try to bring those things into what you are doing.
10. "Do cool shit, every damned day, or die trying" Tom Peters
    

I made New Years cards instead of sending out the generic "Season's Greetings" or "Happy Holidays" card. The quote I selected for the inside was never more appropriate.

"To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping" -Chinese Proverb

This is not my hardest journey but I still feel icky from yesterday's dumping. I went through the usual purging of emails and myspace messages. I changed the sheets on my bed. I've basically kept myself busy to the point where I am exhausted. Exhausted to the point where I won't dwell on it and beat myself up for not seeing this coming.

So the first boy to ever ask me out decided that he didn't want to be in a relationship. While I appreciate his honesty and not wasting my time, I find it hard to believe that it was him and not me. He said that he wasn't ready for a relationship and thought of me as more of a friend. I told him that I'd like to believe him but I just went through the "It's not you, it's me" speech not too long ago and then I come to find out that he got engaged. He said that he had no plans for that. I told him that if he did I would kick his ass.

Anyways, I realize that I am different. I am difficult and set in my ways. What do you want? I was the smart fat girl in high school. I was friends with guys. I was NEVER asked out. I dropped the weight in college and still no dating. After awhile I got tired of waiting. The first time I asked a boy out was when I was 25. I dated him for 2.5 years. He was my only boyfriend. Then I went out with his roommate for a little while (off and on over the course of a year). At age 29, someone was finally brave enough to ask me out. We went on a few dates over the course of a month and he wants out.

So what now? I think I will go back to my original plan of hibernating until after Valentine's Day. Jordan, you win. I am unmarketable. For my 30th birthday you can buy me a kitten.

There I said it. I have been waiting all evening to say that. Why have I been dying to utter those words? Because of two infamous phrases that seem to be uttered this time of year. "How's your love life?" and "Any new love interests?" I was blindsided by two people today. Once by my aunt who I chatted with on the phone and once by a friend of my parents'.

Why the fuck do you need to know? Is it not good enough that I have a job, I own my house, and I am not a crack whore? I think that I have been doing pretty damned well.

I was very close to going off this evening and telling everyone that I was doing perfectly fine with my electric blanket and this...




















Sort of a long lost love interest. It will not lead to emotional trauma. The only problem that may arise is an energy crisis. I don't usually keep a stash of "C" batteries around the house.

I finally met someone else who works out for the same reasons that I do.

I was having a totally random discussion with a friend of mine who admitted that the reason why he works out is the same as Lester in American Beauty.

Lester Burnham: I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast.
Jim Olmeyer : Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?
Lester Burnham : I want to look good naked!

It felt good knowing that I wasn't alone in this. Sure there's that eating healthy and exercizing to live longer. But really, who is that focused on living longer? I personally would like to enjoy life along the way. Enjoy life with a nice perky bottom.

I am not one of those crazy people that spends their life at the gym. I used to do cardio once or twice a week but now I am into pilates. I do about 5-10 minutes everyday. That combined with being a good vegetarian is preventing office chair ass spread.

Eventually I will give in and let gravity take its toll. But not now. I don't want to be one of those people that looks good for their age. I'd rather just be someone who looks good.

The tag line on Nappyedges.info should say.

It may take a day or so but eventually she can weave it.

I tried out a new braider on Monday and had a rather unpleasant time. I figured I'd pass the word along so others wouldn't be stuck in the same boat.

What was wrong with my braider. Well, her prices went up and you have to book atleast a month in advance. I shopped around and found a new one by accident that booked me a week before my appointment. Her name is DeKnight (www.nappyedges.info) and she has been working out of the Hair Corner on Lamar (behind Half Price Books). She offered 20% off for new customers so I decided to take a chance. I guess you get what you pay for. I did get my hair braided but the customer service was definitely lacking.

She booked appointments inside of mine. Some chick came in to have one of her tracks sewn in. Then some guy with hair as long as Ludacris came in to get cornrows. This added an additional 2 hours to my time at the salon (although when I saw how much hair that dude had I went home and had dinner.

I should have cancelled my appointment when she called at 7:30 to say that she needed to move my appointment from 8 to 8:30am. I was tempted to try the shop around the corner from hers when she didn't show up until 9:15.

So how long did it take? When I got into my car after she finished the clock on the radio said 3am. I don't wear a watch so I had assumed that it was around 11pm. If I knew it was 3am when I handed over my money I would have definitely made her reduce the price (I didn't tip her because of the double booking stunt she pulled).

Work has been crappy so I decided that a trip to the STD clinic would be a nice change of atmosphere (sad, but very true). But hey, a doctor's appointment is a doctor's appointment.

I was there because I decided it was time to go. There was no cause for alarm. Its something that responsible adults should do. I also went because I found out that not all ob/gyn tell you that they found cooties when you go in for your annual.

I went to the clinic rather than Planned Parenthood this time. The clinic is only $15 and Planned Parenthood cost me $80 last time. The clinic isn't all the way in the ghetto so I didn't mind driving a little farther to save $65.

The whole testing procedure went pretty quick. You go in, they assign you a number and take your money. Then you wait until they call you in to do blood work. More waiting and then they call you in to examine you and ask you a billion questions about your sexual history. They give you a card with the number to call in two weeks when your results are ready.

Overall I can't complain. There were only 3 snotty nosed kids in the waiting area. They wait was short. There was a moment where I wanted to cuss out the lab tech doing my blood work. I told her that she should use the butterfly needle that they use for kids because my veins are small. I also told her that she should use my right arm instead of the left. But NOOOOO she had to keep on trying. After torturing me she finally went with my original suggestion.

The exam part was ok. The nurse practitioner was pretty cool. She was a little confused that I was there. I don't think many people show up at the clinic because they feel it's better to be safe than sorry. The exam went quick and then she started down the list of totally random questions about your sexual history.

They should rethink the order because they made no sense in the order she asked them.

...Have you ever done drugs?
...Have you ever had sex with someone who has done drugs?
...Have you ever traded sex for drugs?

I think that if you answered no to the first question then the third is totally irrelevant.

They may as well toss in "Have you ever traded drugs for sex?"

Now that this is over I will have to come up with a new plan to escape work. The Dentist and the Optometrist are already in the queue.

After I posted about the Attraction Zone Theory, a friend emailled me a link to the Ladder Theory. It explores how men and women are attracted to each other and discusses Why Men and Women can't be friends (the whole 'When Harry Met Sally' explaination).

The one thing I am in disagreement on is the 2 ladder theory for women. This theory elimates the situation that I strive for. Sex with my best friend. Apparently bad things happen when you move from one ladder to the other. The guy ends up falling into the Abyss.

Why should you have to settle with one or the other? I want it all.

It's cold!

The holidays are approaching. The media and it evil advertisements are doing their best to convince people that they should be spending time with family and friends (and spending lots of money of family and friends). It won't be long before they bring back the Cambell's soup and Maxwell house ads.

When winter comes I prefer hibernation. I like cold. But not Texas cold (I am from the north so I can say that. The cold here is different). I don't hang out at home and sleep all winter (although I do get a little more sleep during the winter). I tend to be a little more active around the house. Baking, remodelling, sewing, etc... Eventually cabin fever sets in and I will decide to give myself a makeover (cut my hair short or debate getting my nose pierced). But overall, I spend a lot of time in the house.

Why hibernate? The holidays (or maybe its allergies) make me grumpy (and when I am little miss grumpy pants I know that I should just stay away from large groups of people). It starts with Thanksgiving. I haven't had a good relationship with this holiday. I am usually sick. Very sick. A few years, I was sick to the point where I have passed out from some sort of sinus infection induced vertigo. Christmas isn't so bad. Although I am a big fan of giving/receiving gifts year round.

How long does this hibernation thing last? For the last few years it has ended just around SXSW. Groundhog's day is too early. It's best to stay hidden until after Valentine's.