Climbing in Skirts

In the midst of this dating frenzy I just wanted to take a moment to say THANK GOD I AM NOT OUT THERE. After a horrendous break up and a life changing move back home to Texas I am in a committed and purdy spectacular long term relationship with an actual man (as oppose to a guy or a boy) who is not only good looking, smart, funny and tall but who is interested in me, my life's hopes and dreams.. He's awesome and the last 9 months has flown by.
That being said.
I'm friends with most of my ex-boyfriends. Maybe I've mentioned it before here, if not, now you know. Many of my exes and I talk on almost a daily basis ok, like two exes on a daily basis many on a weekly/bimonthly basis.
My question, due to recent circumstances, is the age old "When Harry Met Sally" question: Can a man and a woman be friends? What if they've been intimate? Is hetero-friendship a step forward or a step backwards when it comes to intimacy?
Somewhere in month 5 I got an email from an Ex. We'll call him Jacob cause that's what he is called in my Nanowrimo piece. Jacob wanted to go to dinner with me and I had the sneaking suspicion that it was because he had broken up with his latest. (Cause well, that's what happens) I went anyway, cause well, we were friends at one point and I was up for a laugh.
We've since hung out quite a few times, and time before last he admitted that he was bummed that I had a boyfriend. I laughed. I laughed right in his face. I may have even slapped the table and leaned over in the booth but the point is--at this point should I stop hanging out with him or should I figure he'll get over me and find a different type of distraction girl? My wonderful boyfriend of course (after much deliberation) knows about this now and his first reaction "I feel bad for the guy, cause I know what its like to have the hots for you and well, it would be sad if nothing could be done about it."
His second reaction when he realized that we had previously been naked was a little less understanding but nothing a little communication and crying couldn't fix. I hung out with Jacob a couple more times, and laid down the law. Point blank stare with a super serious "I'm not interested, you can't win this. Give up." And he got the hint. We stopped hanging out so much but he checks in every once in a while.
Can men and women be friends? Sure, but only if boundaries are set. Oh and if the girl has a kick ass boyfriend, that's gravy.

After my Thelma and Louise incident I've decided this is the year for non-relationships. By non-relationships I mean going on a gazillion 17 dates in one year.

Let's just say that I put too much of myself into past relationships and have decided it's time to focus on some "me things." I have been till this point in my life a serial monogamist. After the last break-up I went a few months then dove right in head first again. That's not good for me. (Jen and Megan both said it.)

Let me clarify, I don't necessarily feel bad, I'm just angry. It's better to be pissed off than pissed on, right?

So, I'm joining the crusade. There are a few modifications I'm making to the rules though:

1. A booty call can count and my addition to this rule is that the social activity must take place before the sexin'.
   
2. Each date must be two (2) hours in length at the minimum if it occurs after the standard work day (9am-5pm). (You can have your friends come rescue after the allotted 2 hours, but you must endure)
   
3. The exclusion to the two hour rule is a lunch date. If the date is scheduled during the standard work day then it only have to be one (1) hour in total.

I think that's all the additions I have, not to say I won't have more as we encounter more crazies!

Labels: 17dates

Apparently other people want to join me in the quest. To make things fair, we can't post about the 17 until we are done. If people knew what we were doing, it could skew the results.

I will however tell you the rules on how we plan to get this done.
17 dates will be like Fight Club. From this point on we can't talk about it. We may post stuff about dating in general but because of my 8 second delay rule we will never post any details in order of occurrence until the end.

Meeting people:

1. Dating sites are fair game. You need to be honest about the details in your profile and you can't ever mention the 17 date challenge in the profile.
2. You can't post an ad on Craigslist (it's a free site so you are guaranteed a high response rate), but you can pick people up from Craigslist
3. Speed dating. Those 3-5 minute dates can't count as individual dates. Although you may get a free date pass if you leave speed dating and no one asks you out.
4. Friends. Yes, friends can set you up but they can't ever mention the challenge and you shouldn't use the challenge to guilt them into finding you a date.
5. Picking people up in the real world (Do people still do that?).
   

The dates:

1. Dates must be one-on-one and in person. No phone dates. No internet chats. No group dates. You must endure the date alone and in person.
2. The 17 should be with 17 different people over the course of one year. If you wanted to, you could claim up to 3 dates with one person but you must remember that you are treading in dangerous waters. More than three dates might constitute a "Relationship" which could give the unfair advantage of unlimited dates. If you do start dating someone exclusively during the challenge you will be disqualified from the challenge.
   
3. The dates do not need to be with new people. Backsliding with an ex will count (I'll never go there, but others might). Recycling someone from your past will count. But seriously, this is about trying new things.
4. Booty calls or random hookup could count as a date if you did a date-like activity before or after. If you do claim a booty call or random hookup with a person you can't use them as a repeat date.
   

The record keeping:

1. You will keep a journal of the 17. Keep track of how you met them, name, age, and date details. Also keep a note of who you managed to get another date out of. Once again, it's for the science and it's to make sure that no one cheats.
   
2. If you do pick up someone from the internet, you should keep the profile or the ad because we will need it for research.
3. At the end of the challenge the posts on the 17 go live. The names will be changed to protect the innocent (or not so innocent).
   

Prizes and excitement:

1. Something good has to come out of this. If anything, we at least get some free dinners and good sex out of this.
2. I can tell you that the first person to 17 is not the winner.
   

Labels: 17dates

This is the one area of my life that could use some overhauling. I have worked myself into a corner. I complain about dating and I complain about being alone as well.

Keely says that it takes 17 bad dates to get to a good one. Even though I am afraid of dating, this is the year that I will make the effort to get myself out there. 17 dates, one year. I am still working out the details on that. I am not sure if that is 17 first dates or how many dates can be counted per person.

I went out on one date late in 2007. It was a very low key Scrabble date. I am not going to count that one. I will start from scratch and post the highlights on this blog.

My original plan was to have my friends set me up on blind dates once a month in lieu of getting me a Christmas present. They vetoed that. Plan B will probably rely on the internet and maybe the occasional friend of a friend set up.

Stay tuned for the terms and conditions.

Labels: 17dates

First we go to the dictionary

rev·o·lu·tion (rv-lshn)