Climbing in Skirts

I've been analoging (as Jen calls it, usually I just say writing in my notebook) lately, and I guess don't really have anything new, just the same old same old. I had lunch/afternoon hang out time the other day with two of my girl-friends.

It's been awhile since I've sat down and really had that gossip-y chit-chat session. Usually that doesn't really happen unless I'm drunk, then it becomes me whining and bitching, but strangely enough not really feeling any better about the issues. (and often sending stupid text messages that I shouldn't.)

It was cathartic for me. We spent about 4 and a half hours just talking it out. The thing is, now I feel strangely "talked out". It was like a rinsing of all the built up gunk. I think it shook loose some stuff too. I like that, it's a way to let some things go, making room for other things to get stuck to my head in the little nooks and crannies. (Great, more room for my crazy, that's exactly what everyone needs.)

It was very stimulating for my gray matter. I guess I'm just saying thank god for girl-friends. Yeah, part of this whole taking control of my own happiness business is realizing that I have some pretty awesome girl-friends.

This isn't supposed to turn into some mush/love fest, so I'll just leave it at that. Thanks to all my girls, you know what you've done for me.

Dear Arab,

Pickup artists and spooning? Would this type of guy allow a girl to hang out in his bed with no expectations? Is it weird that they would be into spooning on the first date?

-snugglebunny


Dear Snugglebunny,

I'm into spooning. It's really relaxing.

As for spooning on the first date... Yeah, why not? I generally do not bring a girl back to my place on the first date, so there usually isn't any spooning on the first date. If you move too fast, you won't get a second date. But if she comes back to my place on the second date and spends the night, I'll expect some spooning. I have certain rules about how well I have to know a girl before we have sex. It's usually difficult to learn enough about a girl on the first date, so spooning may come before sex. (Of course there are exceptions for every rule.)

-The Arab

Labels: dating advice from the arab

I have to disagree with the whole 'know it when you see it' angle of dating. As someone who online dated forever...including to snare her current beau. Being specific has its benefits in online ventures as well as final decisions.
The best way to get what you want is to write it down. It's very simple, find out the dealbreakers and avoid them.
For me, I decided that I wanted someone tall, funny, independent and a host of other things. I got serious with guys that were not anything on the list or only some of the things because I was lonely.
Don't date because you are lonely. Date someone because you are truly interested in them and how they make you feel.
You want younger? Fine, go younger but know with the adventuring fly by the seat of the pants attitude comes possible lack of financial stability and the exhausting task of whether or not you can hang out with their friends.

Labels: dating

Part of my frustration with dating is that I don't know exactly what I am looking for. I will know it when I see it I think. In the back of my mind I know that eventually I would like to meet someone who is just like one of my best guy friends that I could never date because I feared that the friendship wouldn't survive if it didn't work out.

I am often too grounded. I question everything. I like looking after people. I need adventure, a co-conspirator, someone who can convince me that fairies exist.

I think this has sparked a recent interest in younger men. I joked about being a cougar in training. I am not looking at dating a twinkie. Just someone who hasn't become bitter and jaded like myself.

Is it so terrible that we have guilty pleasures? It's the little things, right?
Well one of those little things that makes me feel better is cooking. The act of putting raw ingredients into another form and making a meal adds some semblance of normality to my life.

I think it's something about knowing my way around the kitchen. I went to help a friend cater during south by and realized that it is the act of cooking that allows me to be in my element. I was hung over as fuck, super tired, but standing over that hot flat top for two hours really helped me feel better about all the external drama in my life.

I guess it's the same when I go visit my parents. They have this amazing kitchen complete with a convection oven, and it's like zen. It's good to realize this stuff, it's good to know everything's ok.